"Junk Drawer"
A couple
weeks ago, I was asked to speak at our base’s annual ladies tea for PWOC (our women’s
Bible study group). I was so blessed by
the experience. It was the most
beautiful event and I was privileged to be a part of the day’s events. There were about 100 women in attendance
(although it felt like a lot more double).
Let me make a
couple things clear: I’m not a
“speaker,” I am a talker, but speaker
and talker are WAY different! Although
this was really out of my comfort zone, I was willing to let God use me and allow me
to share a piece of my story and heart.
See there are
many things that make me unqualified to speak to a group, or anyone for that
matter:
-I'm not a
biblical scholar, or any type of scholar for that matter
-I don't have
a degree in theology
-I've not had
a life altering moment (unless you count the 6 moves in 8 years)
God has given
me an opportunity to share, not because I’m qualified, but because HE is…I’m
willing and…
I can do all this through him who gives me
strength. Philippians 4:13
I don’t know
about you, but somewhere along the way on this path of being a wife, mother,
friend, sister, daughter I’ve heard the message that I should have it all
together. I try to have it together, I
try to keep it together when I want to loose it and I try to put it back together
when I’ve lost it. The reality is
though, I don’t have it together and I shouldn’t have it together.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly
than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.
Ephesians 3:20
As I was
thinking and praying about what God wanted me to share, I had a direction I was
going to take, I had it started with some “good ideas” but God kept saying: I
have something better. God said to me “Kathryn, you may not have a degree in
seminary, but you do have plenty of “junk” to share.
Im going to
unpack my metaphoric “junk drawer” with you.
I’ll share
with you my “junk,” not all of it, that
would take way too long. I can say with
a fair amount of certainty that everyone has some sort of junk
drawer/closet/box (for some this may be a car or house, or all of the above),
but the bottom line is, EVERYONE has junk.
You see, I
think I do a pretty good job of keeping my junk under control, and then I move
and it reveals so much more about the state of my “junky-ness” I have more junk and stuff then I thought. When
its all laid out on the table, not shoved in a box/bin/closet somewhere, it
quite revealing. And in an attempt to
prepare for this talk, I was franticly organizing and looking through my bins
and cupboards and closets, when God reminded me “your junk is your junk…it
doesn’t matter how organized or nice it looks, its still your “stuff”.
This
particular drawer started off as my “important” drawer, when we moved in. It was the place I tucked away all the housing paperwork, keys, military orders, receipts, and school documents. Slowly,its become cluttered and buried with
more stuff. The important stuff got
shoved to the bottom.
My “Junk
Drawer” houses more than just my junk.
Its home to my husbands junk:
he brings with him a set of rules, values and convictions…these aren’t all
things I share, but his junk is among mine and trying to find a way to store
and organize it only adds to the chaos of my own junk. I often try to clear out HIS junk while
neglecting my own!
I also store
the kids junk: each of my kids have
their own junk, not just their toys and “stuff” but their emotions, feelings, expectations,
hurts, and struggles. Sometimes I stay
so focused on their junk that mine gets neglected and out of control. See I can only really and truly deal with my
junk.
Finally, and
most importantly, my junk. Prepare to be in shock and horror as I
unpack my junk with you.
-Military Orders / Moving paperwork
(taxes and tons of paperwork) with numerous addresses, 7 over the last 6 years
including 5 different states and another country, Japan. Moving brings its own set of paperwork and
stickers and junk. Every time I move it
brings me to a place of “starting over.”
I think…I’m going to be better organized and not gather so much junk
this time. I’ll only keep what’s
important and useful, but inevitably I always add more. God wants me to use my past to move
forward in the future. He puts
people, places and things in my life to teach me and grow me. I am put HERE for a time and a place and
when God moves me, I SHOULD come to a place where I’m willing and ready to GO
where he sends me. The problem with all
my moving and paperwork is the record keeping.
Not only do I maintain past addresses, but I store good things from each
move and dwell on what I want to take
with me. The comparison game gets me in
trouble every time. He wants me to learn
and grow, but not moan and groan.
-One Earring: although beautiful, when
its missing the other half, its useless.
Too often I take something God intended for beauty and I loose or forget
the other half. When I forget to include
God in the beauty of life, it's not so beautiful, it looks and feels lopsided!
I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD
my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a
robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit or a bride
with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10
-Labels: I keep
these in here to label food. Sadly, I
use labels in the hypothetical sense; I use labels for others. I place labels
on people I just met, people I haven’t met, and even people I know and
love. I label my kids, my husband, my
friends and myself. I label myself lazy,
tired, crazy, fat, stupid, …FILL IN THE BLANK , etc. When I stick these labels on others and myself,
I’m putting God down. He created me, and
when I say harsh things about myself, it speaks harshly about Him and his
creation.
Why do you see the speck
that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own
eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your
eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log
out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of
your brother's eye.
“Judge not,
that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged,
and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
-Clips: used to secure items, keep things
together… an open bag of chips can get stale pretty quickly. Just like my open mouth…it can get pretty
rotten when left open! All to often I say things out of anger, jealousy, hurt, and frustration. I could use a clamp for my mouth
Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those
who speak rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs
13:3
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may
know how you ought to answer each person.
Colossians 4:6
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but
only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it
may benefit those who listen. Ephesians
4:29
Tape measure: This one is super convicting for me. I use this way too often. I’m constantly looking at how I measure up to
other moms, wives, and friends. I use
this to measure my waist, hips, etc.
Sadly, I don’t just use this to measure myself: I measure others: my husband, kids, friends, and
family. When in reality only thing I
should be measuring is my heart and its growth. However, the more I measure everyone else, the smaller
my heart gets. I will NEVER measure up
to Jesus and what he did for me, but he does call us to use him as our
guide.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight
your paths Proverbs 3:6
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he
will lift you up. James 4:10
-Maps: Not sure why I even have this in here, I’m a
terrible map reader, I have absolutely no sense of direction. I
actually firmly believe that every couple should own a GPS…it has saved our
marriage so many times.
The reality
is there is only one map and GPS I should
follow, the road that leads me to
Jesus. Too often I get off course I take
wrong turns. I forget to stop when I
should. I go in the wrong direction and
I forgot to yield when I should. Worst
yet, I have even been known to take a short cut or two, leading me down a road
of hurt and pain, which ends up taking longer to get to my destination. I’m
grateful for a God who loves me and brings me back to him when I get off course.
“You can enter
God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and
its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is
difficult, and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:13-14
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity
of us all.
-Menus: I usually keep a few take out
menus in my drawer for those last minute “I didn’t have time to cook dinner, or
I’m too tired moments.” Truth is I often
look at God like a menu; I pick and choose what I want from him. I may “order up a prayer” and wonder why I’m
left with an icky taste in my mouth. I
try to leave things out of the dish or in this case Gods word. I see
something in the text may not like or think doesn’t apply to me. See, Gods menu doesn’t change, it stays the
same. The price is always the same…free
and eternal life for anyone who chooses to eat at “HIS table” God doesn’t do
take out, he wants you to come and feast everyday with him. It’s not a quick fix of picking and choosing
what you’re in the mood for. I do this
way too often, forgetting that my hunger and thirst won’t be quenched in a drive
through
But whoever drinks the water
I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in
them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14
-Money: I have in here a few coins, one real and the
rest “play money” God reminded me that
ALL my money is “play money,” He’s blessed our family with money to “play”
with, but also money to use for His kingdom. Too often I play with my money
like it actually belongs to me, forgetting to ask God where I should spend.
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will
hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise
the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Matthew 6:24
But Peter replied, "May your money be
destroyed with you for thinking God's gift can be bought! Acts 8:20
-Batteries/light bulb: These represent so many
areas of my life: Being plugged in; I am
plugged into phone, TV, internet, Facebook.
Society, and myself are too hooked to electronics and things that we
have to charge and plug in; batteries and light bulbs have to be replaced. Their light and energy don’t last; they
eventually run out and are useless without a power source. God is the only one who can give us light and
a charge in our life. Even in the
darkest of times, we can tap into his light source, his SON, Jesus.
And God raised the
Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
1 Corinthians 6:14
-Address book: Lets be honest, these are
obsolete in the military world…I seem to hold onto it though, old addresses to
“old friends.” Im never sure of when I
might need that persons number and address.
SO often something goes wrong or right and I want to pick up the phone
and call my parents or a friend to vent/laugh/cry, but they’re not available. Kids, time differences, technology problems, etc., make it hard to stay in touch with our loved ones. No calls, mail, emails or texts can give me a
close relationship with those I love like the relationship with Jesus. Honestly, no one cares as much as our God and
Father in Heaven. I have his private number, I have the Holy Spirit within me
to allow me to speak to him WHENEVER I want.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of
God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus.
Flash Drive: A memory stick to store all my important
information, photos, memories, etc., this
is my backup or way to transfer information.
Too often, I take this memory stick and store information that is really
meaningless and useless. I carry past
hurts and pain and things people said and did to me. These things are not meant to be stored. I’m so grateful that God has taken all my
past and forgiven me, Jesus’ blood on the cross washed that away. He doesn’t keep record of my wrongs.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
“Fix it things”-tape, glue, screw driver: for those quick Band-Aid fixes…none of these are strong enough to
endure the real fixes I need. I often go
for an easy and quick solution to problems without getting out the real tools
to fix my problems. Glue sticks wont
hold together a broken heart anything.
Athletic
tape, a staple in our house, according to my husband, he thinks it fixes
everything. In reality it really fixes nothing and in the process it leaves a
sticky residue and doesn’t end up holding up.
Its often too
much work for me to get out the real mending supplies; I go for the quick and easy fix. Same goes for my spiritual life, I turn to
the quick and easy solutions. I turn to
“Godly friends for advice” without earnestly seeking God in prayer or reading
Gods word for HIS solution to the problem.
My solution might fix the problem short term, but in the long run, it’s
going to break again.
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in
spirit." - Psalm 34:18
Coupons: Self
Explanatory, I keep these in here, just in case I want to buy something “on
sale,” I don’t want to pay full price
for something that I already use…See coupons are wonderful for the pocketbook,
but not so wonderful to use on relationships.
There’s not any cutting corners when it comes to our relationship with
the Lord. I try to use a hypothetical
coupons to buy me some holiness. I take the most expensive and amazing thing , Jesus’
death on the cross, and I try to cheapen it. There is NO way a coupon or ACT
can SAVE me. I cannot cut a coupon to
get me to heaven. Only the blood of
Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross can “buy” my eternal life.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16
"The thief does not come except to steal,
and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they might have life and that
they might have it more abundantly." JOHN 10:10
Cleaning Wipes: These are for those little
spills and touch up jobs, a quick clean up before guests. These parallel my spiritual life too
closely. I don’t take the time for the
deep cleaning, but on the surface I look good.
I try to wash myself clean without asking the Lord to do it. I try to take those little sins and wipe them
up. I do a quick devotion or prayer, just to check a “box” or to mask the real
mess underneath? I’ve got some major
deep cleaning to do in my heart.
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and
know my thoughts! Psalm 139:23
Medicine Containers: To administer medicine for a
fever or aches and pains. I don’t take
medicine often, but when I do, I’m desperate for some pain relief, fast acting
and easy to swallow. We all have
brokenness and hurts and pain that we want to go away. Our hurts cannot be covered with medicine;
true healing only comes from the Lord.
Do I trust God to nurse my wounds and heal my broken heart? I am so broken and need the ultimate healer
to fix me.
O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you
healed me.
Psalm 30:2
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their
wounds.
Psalm 147:3
Darts: Even though these are my kids, I have my own darts in my Junk…I like
to think they’re soft and meant for playful fun. Realistically, my words and actions hurt people. I aim darts at the heart of people I love,
way to often. I justify my actions and
words as “playful games.” I warrant my behaviors by telling myself “they’re
soft and wont hurt anyone” Just because
I sugar coat something doesn’t make the pain any less.
In all circumstances take up the shield of
faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil
one. Ephesians 6:16
Marbles:
The irony that I have a few loose marbles in
the drawer only parallels my real life even more. I loose my marbles with my husband and kids
and family WAY too often. Its good to remember
that God never looses his marbles with us, although he should.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
self-control; against such things there is no law.
Box: I have a little box in here, which I’m going to choose to keep
closed. See in HIS timing he’ll ask me
to open this “tiny” box and unpack what’s inside, but only when he chooses to reveal
that to me. I know some stuff I’ve
shoved in here, and quite frankly I’m not ready to open it up yet. I don’t let all my junk hang out in the open,
but every now and then someone may ask “what’s in there.” I choose to keep this junk box closed. It's okay to have secrets, but I know that I
cannot hide anything from God.
My junk binds
me, it haunts me, and ultimately takes me away from a relationship with
God. I ask that you humbly ask God to
show you His grace and love and in doing so, you'll start to unpack your Junk
with Him. I don’t believe that I should dump my junk on everyone I meet, but I should be real and share my junk with
the Lord. God doesn't want me to wait until I have all my
junk together, he wants me to come before him broken and hurt.
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture
says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." James 4:6
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He
has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has
done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
One thing at
the bottom of all my junk is Jesus. Sometimes it takes me clearing away all my
JUNK to find him amongst it, but he is ALWAYS there...He is my refuge, my
keeper and giver of life. In the midst of my junk I can find Him and choose to
give Him an insiders look at my junk. Im
thankful and grateful I don’t have to clean out my mess alone.
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