Never Settle

I’m not a criminal, nor is my husband, but boy do I feel that way since moving here.  We’re “serving our time” here in Virginia for the next 3 years.  Serving time, a phrase frequently used to refer to jail time; I’d like to use it to denote a feeling rather than an actuality in this case.   We were thrilled to get sentenced (orders) to the DC area.  We were told how amazing and diverse the area is, and it is.  One thing we weren’t told and have since learned is how unsupportive the area is to its military.   In the few short months we’ve been here we’ve felt more and more isolated in our tiny cell.  First it was the empty promises of starting a military club for our middle schooler (an 8th grader starting at his 7th new school).  Next it was Veterans Day, a day to honor and revere those who have served and are serving our nation.  A day to remember those who have gone before us to afford us freedom and things like public education...

How loud is your silence?  The voices in my head have been screaming!  My silence is not golden.  My silence is deafening, but inaudible all at the same time.  I’m not sure what it’s saying. I hear it crying for help, chanting for freedom, taunting shame, and mocking guilt.  My silence yells me lies and covers me in deceit and deception. All this while hearing...nothing. Sometimes  it’s not what I hear, but what I don’t hear.  Its my alarm not going off for an early morning run with friends. It’s the quietness of my phone or absence a doorbell ringing. It’s the sound of a car turning into a neighbors driveway and not my own. Its void of snores next to me in the blackness of the night.  It’s the  muteness of God telling me everything will be okay.  The shrillness of silence is reverberating in my ears. Silence is defeating and daunting.  Silence is painful and agonizing.  Silence is necessary. Silence is ...