PCS: Permanent Change of Senses

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PCS season is upon us.  For military folk, we know this as Permanent Change (of) Station...basically a move.  The irony, there is nothing permanent about it.  The only permanency is that it’s sure to happen again (and again, and again,...).  

Yes, my HHG (household goods) and UAB (unaccompanied baggage) will be packed up and moved from OCONUS (outside the continental US) to CONUS (USA).  There are no acronyms in the world to describe the REAL PCS that occurs.  The permanence of what goes on outside the walls of my military issued house.   Out of the boxes and crumpled paper, the ugly and raw part of the move that really is permanent.  The real PCS...the Permanent Change of senses.

Even before the packers show up with boxes to whisk away our entire lot of earthly belongings, my heart, my sense of being, is undergoing a move of its own.  Every. Single. Year.  See, even when I’m not moving...someone is.  There is ALWAYS someone coming and going...if my family isn’t in TLF (temporary lodging facilities), someone’s family is taking up residence in the interim.  So whether I’m coming or going, a PCS is happening in my heart and head. A Permanent Change in Senses happens.  I’m not referring to the sense of taste, touch, sight, smell, and sound... those tend to change too to a degree. 

The sense of who I am, where I’ve been, how far I’ve come, where I’m going, and how far I have to get there-all come crashing down.  PCS season is HARD!

My sense of belonging tends to fade as I pull back from those I love, my framily, the friends who’ve become my family.  We’ve shared holidays together, illnesses, and we’ve laughed and cried over our children.   Our framily has celebrated career milestones, welcomed babies and puppies.  We’ve been broken and walked through grief of loved ones...REAL LIFE TOGETHER.  We’ve experienced the sights and sounds and tastes and smells and feels of getting to know a new city together.  In a sense, we’ve grown up together, cause let’s be honest...there’s a lot of growing up and pulling up our big girl panties that has to happen when we PCS.

My sense of security starts to feel less secure.  My minds wanders to the insecurities I’m going to feel very soon at our new assignment.  The sense of security I know in knowing I can be me with these people and they’ll still accept me.

My sense of longing heightens and I become so fixated on how long I have left...which is never enough.  I long for another girls night out, one more run together, another play date for our kids.  I long to not be the new girl again to be accepted and feel secure in our new home.  Me sense of belonging overtakes me, it’s like dating all over again.  I just want a sixth sense to know who is really a good friend.  

Sense of direction or lack thereof, increases.  I question every turn and landmark and all the cities I’ve lived in begin to blur together and I have zero sense of direction.  All my map reading and compass skills revert back to elementary and I loose the little sense of direction I had, my sense of judgement becomes clouded with my emotions. 

Humor, the only sense that will part the curtain of tears.  Often, my sense of humor and joy get lost in the move, they’ve been packed neatly away, instead of keeping them in my carryon bags.  Too often it’s weeks or months later that I find my sense of normalcy and begin to unpack my sense of joy and humor.

For each of these senses, God reminds me, this place and the next place...they’re not permanent and aren’t meant to be permanent.  The Lord is the only Permanent Constant Station I should dwell.  It’s not about my earthly walls or even about my senses.  Unless I’m filtering my sense of being through Jesus, I’ll always come up short in joy, and humor, and belonging.  I won’t find rest in anything I do, in any people I meet, or any place I live.  I’m praying that my PCS this time around will be a Permanent Change of my Senses...my sense of knowing the Lord has planted me here (or there) for such a time.  I want my sense of meaning and knowledge to be from Him.

As you embark on your own PCS season, be reminded whose you are and keep the Presence of Christ’s Spirit PCS in your heart.

If we live, it's to honor the Lord. And if we die, it's to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.


Romans 14:8

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