Guilt Trip
I realize its been some time since I've posted. I was on a trip, one I take regularly. I've had the privilege of getting to see so many places and spaces and am certainly enjoying taking little trips around Japan. I love a weekend trip and overnight excursion and even a day trip with the family. Taking trips are the spice of life. With each move, we plan our "bucket list" of must see places and things to do before we move. We attempt to fill our "free time" with as many of these trips as we can monetary and sanely squeeze in. Some of my best memories growing up are taking road trips with my parents and sisters and now I hope to create these same fond memories in my children. I pray that the time spent exploring together will be meaningful and memorable.
Part of my MIA-ness has been due to a trip I've been on. This isn't a trip around the country, city, or even block, but a trip I take around my mind ALL.THE.TIME. This is a trip down Guilty Gully, Lonesome Lane, Feeling Sorry Street, the list goes on. It seems Im always ready for this trip, I have my bags packed and am ready to go. The moment I say "yes" or "no" to an engagement I get ready for take off to this place of no return. My mind wanders to dark places where I start to feel sorry for myself, my kids, my husband, my friends, my family, the list goes on and on.
I feel guilty for saying something I shouldn't have, and for not saying something when I should have. I feel guilty for not spending enough time, money, energy, prayer, (the list goes on)
I feel guilty for not calling someone when I felt prompted to call or for calling and then "ignoring my kids." I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.
I feel guilty all the time. This isn't a new route, I've been taking this road for quite some time and its high time for a detour and a more scenic route thats fresh and new and allows me to see past the fog thats been encompassing me for so long. I don't want my kids to follow in my footsteps down this same road. I spend so much time feeling guilty that I forget to enjoy the moment.
Its the time of year everyone is making new goals and striving to do better. Im among the majority with wanting to improve the person I am. I want to be skinnier, healthier, nicer, kinder, more loving, more accepting. I want to be a better wife and mother and sister and daughter. All these things are good and honorable, but most of ALL I want to be a good servant of my time and energy and money, the resources that have been entrusted to me.
So ultimately, I want to be in prayer and make decisions based on what the Lord would ask of me. See, if Im making choices that are in step with what God wants for my life, there is no guilt and shame. Im going to fall short, EVERY TIME, Im human.
I want to take trips with my husband, kids, and friends. I want to see Japan and the world, but most of all, I want to see God. I don't want to stay on my GUILT TRIP forever. I miss SOOOO much of life when I do. I get too consumed with the weight of the stuff I carry around that I miss all that God wants me to see RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I don't have to travel far to see wonderful faces, places, and spaces. I just have to take the road less traveled and let God do the navigating.
I pray that you'll do the same this year...let go of some of the baggage in your life and let God show you the WORLD he has to offer!
Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Part of my MIA-ness has been due to a trip I've been on. This isn't a trip around the country, city, or even block, but a trip I take around my mind ALL.THE.TIME. This is a trip down Guilty Gully, Lonesome Lane, Feeling Sorry Street, the list goes on. It seems Im always ready for this trip, I have my bags packed and am ready to go. The moment I say "yes" or "no" to an engagement I get ready for take off to this place of no return. My mind wanders to dark places where I start to feel sorry for myself, my kids, my husband, my friends, my family, the list goes on and on.
I feel guilty for saying something I shouldn't have, and for not saying something when I should have. I feel guilty for not spending enough time, money, energy, prayer, (the list goes on)
I feel guilty for not calling someone when I felt prompted to call or for calling and then "ignoring my kids." I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.
I feel guilty all the time. This isn't a new route, I've been taking this road for quite some time and its high time for a detour and a more scenic route thats fresh and new and allows me to see past the fog thats been encompassing me for so long. I don't want my kids to follow in my footsteps down this same road. I spend so much time feeling guilty that I forget to enjoy the moment.
Its the time of year everyone is making new goals and striving to do better. Im among the majority with wanting to improve the person I am. I want to be skinnier, healthier, nicer, kinder, more loving, more accepting. I want to be a better wife and mother and sister and daughter. All these things are good and honorable, but most of ALL I want to be a good servant of my time and energy and money, the resources that have been entrusted to me.
So ultimately, I want to be in prayer and make decisions based on what the Lord would ask of me. See, if Im making choices that are in step with what God wants for my life, there is no guilt and shame. Im going to fall short, EVERY TIME, Im human.
I want to take trips with my husband, kids, and friends. I want to see Japan and the world, but most of all, I want to see God. I don't want to stay on my GUILT TRIP forever. I miss SOOOO much of life when I do. I get too consumed with the weight of the stuff I carry around that I miss all that God wants me to see RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I don't have to travel far to see wonderful faces, places, and spaces. I just have to take the road less traveled and let God do the navigating.
I pray that you'll do the same this year...let go of some of the baggage in your life and let God show you the WORLD he has to offer!
Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
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